What Men Need to Know About Fertility and Conceiving a Baby

Google infertility and “advice for women”you will get a huge number of results – 1,340,000 when I tried it today.  A similar search on advice for men yielded only 6,040 results.  Here is what men need to know about conceiving.

Infertility is an increasingly common issue, gaining increased coverage in the media and occurring with greater frequency in developed countries as we try for children at an increasingly older age.

There is a second side effect to all this coverage and focus on infertility – it is in our minds before even start to try to conceive a baby, and this in itself can be harmful.

If you and your partner are about to try for a baby, it’s very possible that this time will bring some deep emotions up in one of you.  Perhaps your wife has friends who have gone through the trauma of failed fertility treatment, or are currently undergoing IVF.  IVF treatment and fertility issues can be very emotional and upsetting, and this may have effected your partner before you have even started to try.

So here are some pieces of advice as you embark on your “trying time” to make sure it isn’t a trying time.  Here is what men need to know about conceiving.

• Be calm – there is no doubt that there is a inverse correlation between successful conception and stress.   Being relaxed and calm is the best ingredient to successful conception
• Eat well – all the old wisdom applies here – plenty of greens, bright fruit and vegetables
• Don’t drink too well – drink plenty of water and cut right back on the alcohol.  Think of all that swimming sperm!
• Consider vitamin supplements – when my wife and I were trying we took some supplements specifically designed for men and women.  There are many options – Wellman/Wellwoman which are readily available from chemists, or we used VitaMen and Vitafem.
• Take a break – if you are trying for a few months make sure it doesn’t take over your life 24×7.  If it’s getting stressful try and take a break from trying (and from each other for an evening if it’s too much to be around each other without talking about it)
• Phone a friend – clearly trying is a deeply personal experience, but it’s as important for men as well as women to have someone they can confide in during this time
• Don’t sweat technical issues – face it, having sex on a daily (or more) basis, you are increasing the odds of having some technical issues.  Don’t read into it or get upset over it – just try again next time.  It’s probably good to discuss the possibility with your partner beforehand so that you both don’t dwell on things when it comes up….or rather doesn’t

If you take nothing else from this post, remember to be calm and relax – it will happen when you least expect!  My wife and I believe we conceived successfully the night we came back from a Bjork concert, after a huge row and we thought it was too late to try as we both had work the next day…but we did anyway, and what do you know….it worked.

Resources

Zita West Guide to Getting Pregnant – we found this book to be very good, and like Zita’s advice and relaxed approach

Taking Charge of Your Fertility – many women like to buy this book and read it before trying.  If you can at all avoid this book coming into your house.   For us it made things stressful before they even started, because you get to read about every infertility issue possible and plant them in your mind. If your partner does appear with it some evening, try to read ahead of him/her – so you can allay their concerns with your knowledge of the topic!