For new Dads and new Mums, bringing baby home 
from hospital and settling baby into their new home is wonderful. The first few days at home with your new baby will be very exciting – here is some advice from the Dad’s perspective.
Driving back from the hospital, with your wife beside you and baby in the back seat secure in his/her new car seat, will be a journey you will remember for the rest of your life. You’re embarking on an amazing journey, one that will challenge and inspire. It will also test your patience and stamina to the limit.
Here are some words of wisdom to help you prepare for and get through the first few weeks:
1. Get lots of sleep beforehand. Just because your wife is having the baby doesn’t mean you aren’t going to be physically challenged too. Make sure you rest well in the weeks leading up to baby’s due date, and if your partner and child stay on in the hospital, sleep as much as you can before they get home. You are going to need it.
2. Your partner is not your partner. Chances are your partner is exhausted. Coupled with that she is now the mother of your child – a responsibility she won’t take lightly! There will be lots of adrenaline flying around – be as patient as you can be and provide support where needed. Just bear in mind it will take a few weeks for everything to settle down back to ‘normal’ and your partner to feel herself again – she has been through a lot.
3. Relinquish control. Maybe you’re used to being the boss, when when baby comes home things will be different at first. It is a new learning experience for all of you, and there are lots of evolutionary hormones kicking in (for you and your wife). Relax and realise that you will not be making every decision – your partner is a mother now and she may assert where you are used to being the decision maker. Go with the flow.
4. Love your Mother-in-law. If you haven’t done so up until now, this is the time to learn to love your mother-in-law. If you’ve liked her up until now, this is the point at which that might all change. Firstly, your mother-in-law, if she is around, will play a vital role for your partner. It’s not that you’re not doing a great job, there are just certain bits of advice and reassurance a daughter needs to hear from her mother. Also bear in mind that the caveman in you may feel threatened by a mother-in-law issuing advice and direction. Trust her – she knows what she is doing (and she will leave your house, eventually).
5. Ask for help. Once the newborn baby arrives it is unlikely you will need this advice, but if there is any doubt – ask people for help! Neighbours and friends will be only too delighted to run errands for you, and you will need all the help you can get. Don’t try to be the martyr and do everything yourself – things might be going well on day three but two consecutive nights of no sleep and you won’t be good for much in the line of chores and shopping trips.
6. Stock the kitchen with quick meals. Put away the fancy cookbooks – it’s down to basics and quick, easy, meals. Try to balance the need for quick food fast with solid nutritional values. You will need your strength and energy, and it’s likely your sleep pattern will be disturbed to some extent so it’s important to boost your immune system with nourishing foods and a balanced diet.
7. Get the balance right. This is a very hard thing to achieve but important to bear in mind. If your wife is exhausted, it’s nice to offer to mind the baby all through the night but don’t make a habit of it. Equally don’t expect your wife to do all the night shifts. Neither of you are going to get all the rest you want, but it’s important that you both have enough rest to function in your roles.
8. Share the good news. It’s very enjoyable to share the good news with friends – and make sure you do. Firstly, it’s a valuable release for you, and secondly your friends will want to know! Do try and take it slow with the baby cards, announcement emails etc – break it up over several days if you have to, rather than having a whole day of addressing envelopes and leaving your wife holding the baby!
9. Focus on your partner. It’s very easy in the first few weeks to become obsessively caught up in the new arrival in the house, new babies are fascinating. But your wife is already 100% focussed on your new baby. Play the most important role you can and look out for your partner – take care of her and ensure she gets as much rest, healthy eating and support as she needs. It’s also important you watch out for signs of postpartum depression (PPD) also known as postnatal depression, which can become very serious. There is a good blog article from one husband’s perspective here.
10. Take lots of photos. Take as much video and photos as you have time for. Within a few months your baby boy or girl will look completely different in size and appearance and you will love looking back on these photos. The first few weeks are very special, but with all that new learning, health visitor visits and sleepless nights it will pass in a blur – so preserve those memories for later with plenty of pictures, and even movie clips if you have a video camera.
