My daughter has a wonderful diet thanks to my wife’s tireless search for the tastiest and most nutritious best baby lunch recipes – usually with the best ingredients as well.

Avocado is a food my wife has always loved, and she’s a strong believer in its health benefits as “the only complete food”.  As a result my daughter gets plenty of lovely avocado, and for lunch or dinner she will have it mixed with banana and yoghurt twice a week.

When I was a child, my parents would never share an avocado with us – I think it was one of their special treats, and they used to tell us that it was “grown-up’s food”.  So even today this food has a strange alluring quality for me.

This morning I rose late, having been gifted a glorious sleep in.  I had a craving for something “nice” – something that felt wholesome and a little culinary as well, but requiring little effort.

avocado

 

 

 

 

Spying the leftover avocado, I sliced it up on some lovely toasted crusty white bread and drizzled with really good extra virgin olive oil – result!  So Dad and baby are both fed and feeling good for the Sunday afternoon ahead, and Mum’s gone for her well earned rest having watched poor Andy Murray beaten in the Australian open by Roger Federer.

 

Avocado, Banana and Yoghurt

Ingredients

  • Half of one ripe avocado
  • 1/3 – 1/2 of one ripe banana
  • 1 – 2 tablespoons of Greek style organic yoghurt

Make sure your avocado is ripe – it should give beneath your finger when squeezed gently.

Mash the avocado, and slice the banana into bit size chunks.  For smaller babies you may wish to mash the banana too.  If your baby likes texture and chew, you can mash the avocado roughly only, or even leave that in small chunks too.

Mix in the Greek yoghurt, stir and serve.

 

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Cooking For Your Child: Cookbook Review

by Graham on January 28, 2010

cookingforyourchildDon’t you just love cookery blogs?  My favourite, Bibliocook, has reviewed a book of children’s cooking by New Zealand author Nicola Galloway.

Much as I like the original Annabel Karmel baby meal planner for when baby is 6-12 months, I wasn’ t as taken with the follow up book on finger foods.

Nice to find an alternative a little of the beaten track (i.e. Amazon).  You can read more about Nicola Galloway’s book here.  I’ll certainly be checking this book out and will report back on the experience.

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When Baby Won’t Stop Crying At Night

by Graham on January 28, 2010

So it’s two in the morning, your baby boy or girl has woken up crying yet again.  What to do?  This handy cheat sheet will help you through this trying time…here’s some pointers on how to get the baby that won’t sleep back into a blissful slumber.

newarrival

  1. Check that nappy - the first thing you should check when baby wakes up is the nappy.  Just lift them up and have a good sniff!  If the smell bothers you, it will bother them too – and quite probably woke them up.  Many parents only spot this after all other options are exhausted – check this first and potentially save yourself hours of lost sleep.
  2. Keep it quiet – just because baby is making loud noise doesn’t mean you should.  You are hoping to have them go back to sleep, so talk to them in soothing, gentle tones.  No matter tempted you are, do not turn on a light.  If you do, they may stop crying, but they will also expect the day to begin there and then!
  3. One at a time – it’s tempting for both partners to be at baby’s cotside, especially in the first few days.  Unless you have a serious problem that needs both of you involved, keep it to one person with baby so that they are no over-stimulated, excited or alarmed – all these things will only serve to wake them up even more and make getting back to sleep harder
  4. Have a feed ready – if baby is being breastfed this is easy. If you are using formula, or feeding from a cup, make it as easy as possible for you to rustle up a quick drink in the night. Perhaps buy some pre-made formula cartons rather than making up the powder.  They are expensive but will save you time in the night.  The longer a hungry baby has to wake, the more agitated they will be and hence the longer it will take them to calm down and go back to sleep
  5. Practice your repertoire – baby’s love routine.  Sing one or two songs to baby around bedtime and you can sing the same songs when required in the night – once they have associated these songs with going to sleep it will help settle them back at night

Each baby responds to different things, for my daughter she now often just needs to be placed on my right shoulder, and me to walk vigorously up and down the room for less than one minute.  If she wriggles and writhes, then I know it’s time for a feed instead.

Click here: the definitive book on getting baby to sleep in the first three months.

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Best Baby Books and Parenthood Guides

by Graham on January 24, 2010

There are a huge amount of books available on having a baby, becoming a parent as well as books on newborn babies, sleep routines, feeding and how to teach your child to play, read, talk, walk etc etc.

Most bookshops these days devote an entire section to parenting books and baby books.  So where do you start?  Here are some suggestions from parents who have been through pregnancy, first weeks with new baby and beyond.  Hopefully one of these guides will be the right one for you – and if the book you choose doesn’t answer all your questions, worry not – there are plenty of more titles out there to choose from!

My advice is to read as much as you can – each book will share some wisdom and ideas that you identify with.  It’s unlikely you’ll find a book that completely agrees with how you want to care for your baby, but the more books you read the more tips you can pick up.

sears

The Baby Bookwritten by Dr. Martha and William Sears, this book is a multi-bestseller and packed with advice on your baby and being a parent, covering topics as wide ranging as eating, sleeping, toilet training and even toddler tantrums.  Many like the relaxed approach of this book, focussing on the welfare of the child rather than enforcing a strict discipline on a young baby as some other books do.

whatto

What to Expectthis book is less about a particular technique on taking care of your baby.  Instead it’s written as a chronological guide – a chapter for every month, covering the items that might come up during that period.   For example, baby has started teething, what do to?  Or how to recognise and deal with colic.  Although some topics may, of course, appear at different stages for your baby, the book is written in such a way that important development stages are well covered before they start.  For example, weaning is covered in the chapters leading up to the six months stage, when weaning begins for most babies, so you will be well versed in, well, what to expect, when the time comes to introduce your child to solids. Recommended.

gina

The New Contented Little Baby Book (Gina Ford)this is a famous and infamous book.  Parents the world over are divided into two camps – those who love the Gina Ford technique and those who abhor it.  I’ve included the book here for completion – whatever your opinion on this book, no baby book list would be complete without mentioning it.  The best way to decide what you think is to to read Gina’s advice for yourself – and take it or leave it. 

 

Whether you are worried about how to change a nappy, how to deal with a crying baby, or simply how to get baby to sleep – these books cover all these topics and more in great detail, and offer different approaches to understanding and solving the challenges and new learning you will face as a parent.  At the end of the day, it’s your intuition that will kick in as a parent (and don’t worry, it will!).  A book is always merely a backup or a support, for the times something new comes up, or you are unsure.  They will never replace good parenting!

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How to Blog for iPhone

by Graham on January 15, 2010

Once you’ve got your new blog up and running on Wordpress, perhaps given it a polished, professional look with a tool like Thesis, you then realise that more and more people are arriving at your site from a mobile device!

thesis

Now it’s time to start thinking about how your site looks when viewed from an iPhone, iPod touch, Blackberry, Android or even Google’s Nexus One. 

Certainly, your blog will not look the same as it does on a desktop browser when viewed on an iPhone.  Mobile devices have smaller screens, large images need to be scrolled and many mobile browsers will attempt to adjust the site fit on screen – which usually degrades your user experience when surfing to your blog from an iPhone or other mobile device.

I’ve been customising my blog for iPhone today, here are some useful tools which might help you do the same.

WPtouch

WPtouch is a free plugin you can add to your Wordpress blog to ensure that your blog is customised for iPhone whenever an iPhone user visits your blog.

iphone-bigInstallation was very straightforward, the options under settings are set to default so that you are up and running straight away.

I found the resulting look of my blog on iPhone to be very impressive and it was a doddle to get this up and running.

My only concern with WPtouch was compatibility with my Thesis theme, which gives my site its overall professional look and feel when viewed from a normal computer and browser, but there were no compatibility issues between Thesis and WPtouch, because WPtouch is a plugin, rather than a theme.

WPtouch is available for download completely free from BraveNewCode.  They also have a tool for automatically retweeting your blog posts, WordTwit, which I will review at a later date.

 

iPhoney

If you don’t have an iPhone to see how your site looks for the iPhone user, there are tools available which will emulate how your site will appear to an iPhone user which can be used to check that your site looks okay for that iphoneyplatform.  This works in the same way as the many sites available to check how a new site is looking when rendered by different browsers.

Though I haven’t tried it myself, iPhoney is one resource I came across today when researching my site update to be iPhone friendly.  iPhoney will emulate how the site is looking on the iPhone, so you can be certain the results are what you expected.

Next exercise will be to optimize my blog for Blackberry and then possible Android, but I’m happy today at least that I have a blog that looks good on an iPhone running Safari, which should increase my audience reach significantly.

 

 

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Here at New Dad we’re in the final stages of completing our New Dad Survival Guide, a publication packed with with everything the Dad-to-be needs to know about life after the new arrival, all the advice a New Dad could need.

If you want to be in with a chance to win a free copy of this new publication, send an email to blog AT new-dad DOT com and tell us your greatest fear when it comes to becoming a Dad, or your most important question on what it’s like to become a father.

We will be giving free copies of New Dad Survival Guide away as soon as it comes out to the 20 best suggestions, so get writing!

Graham

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In a bold step forward for this blog, I want to expand the scope a little and cover the topic of food.  It was several food blogs that inspired me to blog in the first place, and over the last 5 years my love of all things food has extended to cooking myself.

Besides, surely a Dad who cooks is a New Dad personified?

Over Christmas, back at home with the family, I was determined to show off some of my cooking skills.  When I volunteered to cook my second dinner my father turned to me with a serious face and said “so you actually like cooking, do you?”. 

How could I convey to him the joy cooking a great meal brings me?  It’s a love of the technical mastery required to put the ingredients together, the subtlety in the cooking method which can make the difference between a mediocre and a great dish and the pure alchemy of turning some regular ingredients into something truly amazing.

My mother bought me a cookbook for Christmas, something that’s starting to become a tradition and one I won’t object to one bit.

This year she bought me Good Mood Food, itself created out of a blog.  The book is written by a young Irishman by the name of Donal Skeahan.  His background is only partially introduced in the book, mentioning “his first cooking experience…” but failing to list any more experiences, leading me to believe he is not another Irish person off the conveyor belt at Ballymaloe House (which is refreshing).

skehan

The cover notes that Donal Skeahan is “Ireland’s answer to Jamie Oliver”, which I can only disagree with on several counts.  It is precisely this difference that makes Skeahan’s compilation so interesting – he is no Jamie Oliver because his recipes lack the sophistication of Oliver’s.  But they also lack the complexity.  These are great simply home cooked food recipes.

I enjoyed cooking his Thai Chicken Curry, a classic which is well known by many, but Skeahan’s use of red peppers to add a contrasting sweetness to the hot curry is a lovely touch.  He has lots of healthy takes on favourite dishes such as paella and homemade granola.

All in all, Good Mood Food is an enjoyable book and a welcome addition to my cookery shelf.

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Society Needs to Value Full-Time Parents More

by Graham on January 4, 2010

My wife went back to work today, I was so proud of her.  It’s great to see her able to get out of the house and do something beyond minding my daughter.

It’s strange really, that I would say this. Firstly, it’s my own daughter I am talking about, and secondly I know what a huge achievement it is for my wife to mind her day in, day out.

But somehow society doesn’t recognise raising a baby as an achievement

I think it’s this general society attitude that has, to some extent, rubbed off on me.

“You are a full time parent….but what else do you do?  Aren’t you bored?”

Raising a baby takes a lot of effort:

  • It’s tougher than a marathon – it doesn’t end after 2 or 3 hours
  • There is no sick leave – unlike any other job in the world you can’t stop because you are ill
  • The hours are unregulated – baby’s don’t stop crying because you are tired at the end of the day or because it is 3am on Saturday morning
  • You take your work with you on holidays – unlike a Blackberry, you can’t switch baby off

I think it is amazing when a man or a woman gives up work to mind their children – it’s exhausting and I think so much of anyone who does this full-time.

If you do want to consider becoming a stay-at-home Dad, I suggest you read this post at Steely Dad.

But something pulls us all towards doing something more on top of raising our children, working, studying, getting fit, reading – how much of this is due to society’s attitude to raising kids?

A lot, I fear.  Society needs to update its attitude towards parenting, and put it up there with the awe for the top achieving sports athlete, the mountaineer who conquers everest, the brain surgeon etc.

Parenting is intense, arduous and a huge achievement – just because so many people are doing it doesn’t mean it’s easy.

About time we recognise that.

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We’re almost six month into weaning our daughter on to real foods.

For the first six months, we’ve been using the book of books on baby weaning, Annabel Karmel’s Complete Baby and Toddler Meal Planner.

If you’re short on recipe ideas for weaning baby, this is the book to have. Without even realising it we’d even gone as far as buying the bowl and spoon from the Annabel Karmel range, we are completely signed up to the book and way of life!

To be fair, it is a great book, and it’s also been hugely educational for me as someone who loves to cook.

I’d never before come across a papaya or a sweet potato in real life before, never mind cook with one of them.  I challenge anyone to make up the chicken one pot and not love the taste!

While it’s easy to come up with simply baby recipes by yourself, the benefit of using a structure book of weaning recipes is that you can be assured baby is getting a balanced diet.  The overriding principle of Annabel Karmel’s weaning program seems to be ensuring baby gets the best food available, while at the same time giving them a fantastic variety of great tastes, so there is no room for them to become a fussy eater.

Having said that, my daughter did decide around the ten month mark that she didn’t want to eat the puréed foods my wife has been painstakingly putting together for her.  Suddenly the “lovely lentils” aren’t so lovely to my daughter anymore.

But we realised what had happened was a natural progression – we now make the same dishes from Annabel Karmel and just don’t puree them – she wants texture, chunkiness and chewing in her meal.

Looks like this book will hold us in good stead for some time to come.

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N
ew Year is all about fresh starts, resolutions, plans and goal.  This is my second year as a New Dad, and now that my daughter is doing well and is clearly a very happy child, I’m thinking back to my own life balance and my own personal development plans.  I am now in a position that I can refocus on my own goals, as well as being a parent and husband.

So how do you get the balance right between these various roles: father, partner and individual?

Decide what is important – let’s face it, you’re not going to have the time to do everything you used to do before baby arrived.  Write down what is most important to you.  Perhaps you play a musical instrument or a sport and want to ensure you get adequate practice in.  Maybe it’s keeping in touch with close friends and meeting up with them regularly.  Prioritise your list of activities.

Discuss your needs – make sure you discuss with your partner what is important to you as an individual.  By sharing your needs you give your partner or wife the chance to support you in fulfilling them, and make space for you to have the time and space when you need it.

Be realistic – it’s tempting to try to include everything you used to do before baby came along in your daily routine.  Don’t be a martyr!  Realise you only have limited time – plan carefully and allow space for unexpected surprises – life has a habit of throwing them up!

The key point is whatever you are doing with your time, make it count.  Time is precious, and when babies and children arrive this is even more true.  You may like to go out for meals with friends, and find you are doing this less once you’ve become a new dad – so make sure you go to a nice restaurant, or one which has had good reviews.

Make sure your time is spent well, and most importantly, enjoy every minute of it!

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Debenhams and the Great Irish Rip-off

by Graham on December 28, 2009

 

During a recent visit to Ireland we were shocked to discover the price of goods consumers are faced with in Irish outlets of the major UK retail chains.

We’ve been visiting family in Ireland over Christmas, and with the cold weather needed some extra bits and pieces for our young daughter.  I’d heard anecdotally in the pub (where most good information gets shared in Ireland) that Debenhams, a recent addition to the department stores in Cork City, following the closure of long term local Roches Stores, had a ridiculous markup on their UK prices.

It was only when we went to buy some items for our daughter for the cold weather that we had first hand experience of what a rip-off Cork, and Irish consumers in general, are experiencing when they go to the shops.

To give an example, we bought a warm top for our daughter, from designer Jasper Conran (though admittedly I’ve never heard of him outside of Debenhams itself).  We purchased out of pure need, and didn’t really stop to research prices – surely they couldn’t be that far off the UK prices?

  • The UK price of this top from Debenhams UK site is £16 (currency conversion site XE.com translates this to €17.81)
  • The price in Debenhams in Cork was €25 (£22.46 according to XE.com)

This equates to a markup (on their already profitable price) of 40%.

top
Apart from feeling I’ve been had myself in our purchases, I know that our purchase was not a unique one – in fact this seems to be par for the course in the Irish consumer market.

I heard an encouraging story from the car hire firms, which validated my own decision not to rent a car.  Shopping online before leaving for Ireland, I was being quoted prices as high as €700 to rent a very small car for two weeks.  It was too much, so I opted to not rent a car and depend on taxis and the kindness of friends and family when in Ireland.

Speaking to an insider from the industry I learned that the car companies had hiked up the prices three weeks before Christmas, as they typically do.  However, they had so mis-judged the market this year that a slew of cancellations and customers walking away from the quotations ensued.  In a desparate attempt to bring the customers back the firms dropped their prices at the last minute, but it was too late.

Ireland faces a long recession, budget deficits and serious unemployment.  But if it’s population want to do something to help end the recession as quickly as possible, the sooner they refuse to pay the ridiculous prices charged on the high street, the sooner retailers will wake up and price their goods more realistically.    Visitors to Ireland already see the sky high prices for what they are – and the Irish tourism figures dropping in 2008 reflect that – hopefully the locals will make the same realisation very soon.

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When To Start Brushing Baby’s Teeth?

by Graham on December 27, 2009

When do I start brushing baby’s teeth?

One of the things that has mystified me all through the first year of our new baby’s teeth is the advice around oral hygiene, specifically brushing baby’s teeth.  When should I start brushing baby’s teeth?  Should I use toothpaste.  Do I need to use a special toothpaste for babies or regular toothpaste to brush baby’s teeth?

My understanding has always been that milk teeth are something temporary, something that will be lost and hence there is not much need to worry about them.  I don’t remember what age I started brushing my teeth, but I certainly don’t think my parents’ generation were brushing baby teeth as soon as the first pearly whites appeared.

From the research I have done for this article I am now aware of several reasons why brushing baby’s teeth is important.

Appearance – it may be obvious but teeth are part of your baby’s appearance, so brushing babies teeth will prolong their life

Eating – we need our teeth (milk and permanent) to eat!

Speaking – teeth play an important part in the formation of many phonetic sounds, and hence are important in the development of speech

Permanent teeth positions – baby teeth are in the same positions in the gums as permanent teeth.  It’s important that the positions are maintained so that, when the permanent teeth do come along, they are in the right place.  There’s a good financial reason here too – orthodontic treatment for your child in later life is expensive

The consensus advice on when to start brushing baby’s teeth and how to brush baby’s teeth:

  1. Start brushing as soon as teeth appear
  2. Buy a brush with soft bristles, and replace it every three months
  3. Use a low-fluoride childrens’ toothpaste, just a pea sized amount.  Encourage your child to spit out toothpaste as soon as they can
  4. Use small, gentle circular movements around the area where teeth and gums meet

Finally, on the subject of taking baby to the dentist, the reasons for going as early as possible seem to be psychological as much as physical.

It’s good to get baby used to going to the dentist at an early age so they are comfortable with the experience.  In the UK, for example, it is possible to register babies with a National Health Service (NHS) dentist as young as six months.

The one thing many of us will not want to pass on to our children is a hang up about visiting the dentist, and so beginning oral hygiene and dentist visits for baby earlier, rather than later, can only be a good thing.

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Babies, Broken Routines, Night Nappies and Poos

by Graham on December 22, 2009

My daughter has developed a new habit in the last week – having a nappy, i.e. a poo, in the middle of the night.

As with any eleven month-old baby, poos are now significantly potent enough that even baby can’t stand the smell.  They are so potent in fact that they wake my daughter up.

Coincidentally, it happens about the same time every night.  She wakes for one of her (several) night wakes, my wife feeds her and puts her back to sleep and 5 minutes later she wakes with a smelly nappy.

This is yet another example of where we have gotten our night routine into a manageable state – and a new development occurs – usually one that takes us back a few steps.

Babies and routine, especially night routine and getting baby to sleep through the night, is the subject of countless books, journals and articles.  There are lots of experts telling us what we should be doing and the perfect technique to achieve the precise routine they outline in their book.

But I don’t think this works.  Here is what I have to say about routine and how to get your baby to settle into one:

Be ready to be proven wrong - you may be taken by the latest book you have read, but don’t expect baby to feel the same way about it.  Your baby is an individual and will typically respond to what works for them.

Accept that everything is temporary - if you get your baby eating solids without complaint, taking a nap for 2 full hours every day, sleeping through the night following their favorite book – be open to the idea that this will all change.  Babies go through phenomenal development in their first few years, and will significantly change in personality over a few weeks and months.  Therefore don’t expect them to embrace a routine in month two and keep the same routine a year later

Be ready to experiment - it’s important not to be bound by any book.  Read about lots of different routines – whether it is about feeding, sleeping or anything else, and try what you feel works right.  It does not have to be exactly what is in the book, it could be a hybrid of ideas or something you find your baby boy or baby girl has responded to well in the past – e.g. a bath before bedtime can be soothing for some babies, but for others it can be sheer trauma

Don’t give up – if routine doesn’t take easily – take a break, go with the flow for a while (baby my come up with their own routine in the meantime) and then try something new

The Baby WhispererThere are a lot of books out there on routine, and most are well known.  The one book I will mention here is The Baby Whisperer, which gives you several techniques for looking at routine.  There are some specific techniques for very young babies, but the one thing I found about this book is the generic approach to introducing routine has stuck with me for whatever stage we have been with my daughter.

Resources:

The Baby Whisperer – further information from Amazon.com

The Baby Whisperer – further information from Amazon.co.uk

So what are your nappy routines like?  Tell us!

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Successful IVF: New Product to Help Couples

by Graham on December 18, 2009

My good friends at Life Enhancing Audio company, Innervision, have just launched a hypnosis product specifically designed to help with fertility and IVF in particular.  Successful IVF is a product specifically designed for for couples undergoing IVF treatment.  This product uses self-hypnosis to guide couples on how to use relaxation and stress reduction while undergoing IVF treatment.

It’s certainly an interesting concept. The product has been designed with Diana Tibble, experienced midwife of 15 years and qualified hypnotherapist and counsellor, which indicates these are people who both know the subject matter and are passionate about getting results.

success According to the Innervision team “frequent visits to clinics for tests, investigations, examinations and treatments can cause increases in stress hormones. One of these hormones, adrenaline, affects the hypothalamus; the pituitary and the thyroid gland, all essential for fertility and can inhibit, not only ovulation, but also implantation.”

It is well known that stress plays a factor in infertility in both men and women (see earlier post), so reducing stress during IVF should be as much a priority as at any other time when trying to conceive.  IVF is expensive – it makes sense to be in a peak state before undergoing any treatment.

More than anything else, I think men and women need to focus on fertility, not infertility, and a product like Successful IVF may not be able to 100% guarantee a successful outcome to IVF treatment, but it can only help in combating negative thoughts and stresses which may well hinder the process.

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How to Survive Christmas Holiday Travel with Baby

by Graham on December 16, 2009

Travel with little ones can be a nightmare – here’s how to avoid any hassles when travelling with a baby for the holidays or going away for Christmas.

holidays

Expect the worst – when you are planning at least, it’s best to prepare as if the worst could happen.  Your train/plane/boat gets cancelled? Your car journey takes twice as long.  Luggage lost at the airport?  Bring that change of clothes and something for baby to sleep in. By having the supplies you need for your baby in a handy daypack, so that should the unexpected happen, you’ve got everything you need.

Take more time – there is no doubt that everything takes longer when you’ve got kids, and travelling with children is no exception.  Leave early to avoid traffic – there’s nothing worse than traffic – except perhaps traffic with a baby screaming in the car seat.

Bring supplies – take enough food supplies for the journey, anticipated setbacks and one overnight.  If you arrive late at your destination, and the stores have closed, you’ll be glad you brought enough food for baby.

Bring comfort and familiarity – bring baby’s favourite bedtime book, rubber ducky – anything around their routine that they recognise as familiarity in their unfamiliar place.  Whatever you can do to rebuild the pre-bedtime routine as it is at home will help to get them familiar and relaxed in their new surroundings, and hopefully off to sleep.

Establish the new ‘home’ early we all love the familiarity of our own bedroom, bar the odd escape to a luxury hotel.  Unfortunately the latter doesn’t cut it with little ones.  Once you arrive at your destination set up the crib or cot where baby is going to sleep, add familiar toys and things that smell familiar and show them their new sleep zone.  Another helpful idea is to bring the sheet that they were just sleeping on in their cot at home, rather than a newly washed one.  That way they have a familiar smell, too, which can be a very powerful trigger.

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Here are some ideas if you are looking to buy Christmas presents for new parents, need a holiday gift ideas for pregnant friend, new Mom or Dad, parent or parent-to-be or even Grandparent.

There are lots of gifts in the shops for expecting friends, those who are becoming parents or are new parents, but these are some options if you are in a hurry and looking for last-minute ideas.  Perhaps you are buying for someone who is becoming a parent but have no idea what kind of gift to get them.

These are mostly items my wife and I have read and enjoyed and so are sharing them with you here and hope they are a helpful suggestion list for you as you do your Christmas shopping this holiday.

Many of these gift ideas work in more than one of the categories, but I have highlighted one in each section in case you cannot decide what Christmas gift to get your loved one!

Gifts Ideas For the Dad to Be, For the Expectant Father

blokes The Blokes Guide to Pregnancy – step by step guide explaining to the guy what is happening to their partner at the various stages of their partner’s pregancy, and a little on what to expect once the new baby arrives!
inthe In the Womb – available in book or DVD form, this is a fascinating programme tracing the development of baby during its nine months in the womb.  A great idea for the Mum or Dad to be, but great for the scientifically minded father to get them involved and interested during the nine months of pregnancy.

Gifts For an Expectant Mum, Gifts for a Pregnant Friend

yourpregnancy Your Pregnancy Week by Week – a beautiful illustrated Dorling Kindersley hardback book, explaining all the changes the expectant mother will go through in each of the trimesters of pregnancy. It also prepares the reader for what lies ahead in the final stages of pregnancy, labour and delivery of the baby.  There is also ample information around the major events during pregnancy, such as the ultrasound (or scan) and information presented in a reassuring way on complications or things that may happen along the way.

For the New Parents

whatto What to Expect – this is a great series of books, covering all that anyone would want to know about their new baby and looking after them.  There is also a useful section on baby health and a look-up guide in case baby is unwell.  There are two choices – What to Expect: The First Year for parents who have just had a baby and What to Expect: the Toddler Years for parents whose baby is now slightly older (coming up to or just past the one year mark).

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newfather The New Father – this is a very good book for those first few months when new parents aren’t quite sure what is going on – it’s a huge learning curve.  Should baby be making that noise?  How many hours should she be sleeping?  What food are they supposed to eat?  It’s useful for him and her (my wife finished this book before I did) but it does cover additional “Dad” specific issues such as balancing career and home, and even talks about modern issues such as considering becoming a stay-at-home dad.

Gifts for the New Grandmother, Gifts for Grandma-to-Be

granny The Good Granny Guide – fun book on all things Grandma, to help your mother or mother-in-law or friend who is about to become a Grandma adjust to their new “volunteered” status as Grandparent!  It’s good to remember that Grandparents go through major change when their first Grandchild arrives too, many describe a very intense love and joy, coupled with mixed feelings about feelings of “getting older”.

Gifts for Grandad, Grandpa-to-be

grandadsbook The Grandad’s Book – for the Granddad who’s best at everything!  Granddads often get left out of the equation when it comes to the new arrival, so a book like this is a lovely way of bringing them into the picture, and making them realise that they have a very important role to play in the life of the new baby as well.

[tags]christmas,gifts,parents[/tags]

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Dads in the Delivery Room: Natural Order!

by Graham on December 12, 2009

French obstetrician Michel Odent stirred up controversy with his recent comments at the Royal College of Midwives where he said that men were a hindrance to natural childbirth and attributed the increased incidence of emergency caesareans (c-sections) to the ‘masculinisation’ of childbirth.

It’s all too often medical experts try to make judgements on the entire childbirth process from a set of statistics.  Coincidentally they are usually male.

 dadbabyPhoto (cc) by Kelly Sue

Given, there is definitely a rise in the incidence of caesareans, but I fear this is more due to the modern thinking that childbirth should be pain free and quick.   Unfortunately nature did not design it that way.

Mr. Odent talks about the hormone oxytocin, the “love hormone” which facilitates childbirth in the mother.  But he claims the presence of the male inhibits the production of the hormone and this results in a slowing of the birthing process.  Surely if this is the “love hormone” than the presence of the partner you love is the best trigger for such a hormone?

Personally, I’m convinced the hormonal process of childbirth affects not just the mother but also the father.  There are recent studies confirming hormonal changes in men following the birth of their child.  It’s also brings two people closer together – what could be more natural than a man supporting his partner at the birth of their child?

What Mr. Odent is missing, in my opinion, is the fact that labour is a prolonged process – it can and often does take quite a long time.  In our hypnobirthing class a lot of the examples we were shown were labours that took very long indeed – but they were relaxed, natural births. 

Modern hospitals, and medical thinking, by contrast seems to be all about a quick labour and delivery, and long labour has somehow been equated with a problem labour.  The cynic in me can’t help thinking the motivation behind this is to free up hospital beds.

My experience being at my wife’s side would certainly contrast with Odent’s perception of the world.

Firstly, I felt I was playing an important role in reassuring my wife on her progress, and answering her questions honestly.  After about six hours hearing the midwife just say “you’re doing fine” and not sharing much else I think I became the point of trust.  At no point did I try to direct the labour or tell me wife it was time to go to the hospital – this was her moment, and I knew my role was to support, not to dictate.

Odent is right in suggesting that technology and people surrounding a woman in labour will slow the progress of birth – it’s well known that mammals in labour stop progressing if they perceive danger or fear.  But anyone who is in an unfamiliar or scary place is reassured by a familiar face, someone they can know and trust – surely for a woman in labour that person is going to be their partner or husband?

If anything Odent is making a very strong case for home birth. All that is needed for a childbirth really are mother, midwife and the reassuring presence of a husband to give support, when needed.  Medical intervention is sometimes, of course, required, but hopefully the exception rather than the rule. 

Let’s remember that childbirth is a natural condition, not a medical condition. If we place the experience of people like Odent it will very likely become a sterile medical event, which I don’t think any mother or father would want.

 

Further Reading:

The Guardian – A Dad from Day One
BBC News – Should Dads be in the Delivery Room
Duncan Fisher – What I said in the debate with Michel Odent
Annabel Wynne – Michel Odent Should Stay Away From Childbirth

 

Photo (cc) by Kelly Sue from Flickr

[tags]baby,dads,delivery,labour,labor[/tags]

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What to Do When Baby Doesn’t Like Bath-time

by Graham on December 9, 2009

My daughter has stopped liking her bath – what’s changed?

For eleven months now I have been doing exactly the  same routine for bathtime, which immediately precedes bedtime:ducky

1. Sing my own version of Bobby Darin’s “Splish Splash”. While bouncing my daughter up and down in front of a mirror, I sing an abridged version of “Splish Splash” incorporating her name as well.  No matter how tired she is she always loves it.

2. Another song while preparing the bath water. This time my own concoction, I think it’s somehow loosely based on an obscure French Eurovision entry from a few years back.

3. Say hello to “ducky” and all bath toys as bath fills. Drop them into the bath and my daughter is usually wriggling to get in after them.

4. Changed and into the bath!  Step four is failing miserably this last week – she freaks out!  She goes as far as letting her feet hit the tub and then stands stubbornly in the bath, shouting in protest.

The funny thing is she still stretches down to slap her palm on the water and splash, which she loves to do – she just won’t sit down and enjoy it.

This new development has made washing a bit of a nightmare.  Has anyone else had a similar experience at the 11/12 month mark – any suggestions or ideas?

All help greatly appreciated!

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For new Dads and new Mums, bringing baby home newarrivalfrom hospital and settling  baby into their new home is wonderful.  The first few days at home with your new baby will be very exciting – here is some advice from the Dad’s perspective.

Driving back from the hospital, with your wife beside you and  baby in the back seat secure in his/her new car seat, will be a journey you will remember for the rest of your life.  You’re embarking on an amazing journey, one that will challenge and inspire.  It will also test your patience and stamina to the limit.

Here are some words of wisdom to help you prepare for and get through the first few weeks:

1. Get lots of sleep beforehand. Just because your wife is having the baby doesn’t mean you aren’t going to be physically challenged too.  Make sure you rest well in the weeks leading up to baby’s due date, and if your partner and child stay on in the hospital, sleep as much as you can before they get home.  You are going to need it.

2. Your partner is not your partner.  Chances are your partner is exhausted. Coupled with that she is now the mother of your child – a responsibility she won’t take lightly! There will be lots of adrenaline flying around – be as patient as you can be and provide support where needed.  Just bear in mind it will take a few weeks for everything to settle down back to ‘normal’ and your partner to feel herself again – she has been through a lot.

3. Relinquish control. Maybe you’re used to being the boss, when when baby comes home things will be different at first.  It is a new learning experience for all of you, and there are lots of evolutionary hormones kicking in (for you and your wife).  Relax and realise that you will not be making every decision – your partner is a mother now and she may assert where you are used to being the decision maker.  Go with the flow.

4. Love your Mother-in-law. If you haven’t done so up until now, this is the time to learn to love your mother-in-law.  If you’ve liked her up until now, this is the point at which that might all change.  Firstly, your mother-in-law, if she is around, will play a vital role for your partner.  It’s not that you’re not doing a great job, there are just certain bits of advice and reassurance a daughter needs to hear from her mother. Also bear in mind that the caveman in you may feel threatened by a mother-in-law issuing advice and direction. Trust her – she knows what she is doing (and she will leave your house, eventually).

5. Ask for help. Once the newborn baby arrives it is unlikely you will need this advice, but if there is any doubt – ask people for help!  Neighbours and friends will be only too delighted to run errands for you, and you will need all the help you can get.   Don’t try to be the martyr and do everything yourself – things might be going well on day three but two consecutive nights of no sleep and you won’t be good for much in the line of chores and shopping trips.

6. Stock the kitchen with quick meals. Put away the fancy cookbooks – it’s down to basics and quick, easy, meals.  Try to balance the need for quick food fast with solid nutritional values.  You will need your strength and energy, and it’s likely your sleep pattern will be disturbed to some extent so it’s important to boost your immune system with nourishing foods and a balanced diet.

7. Get the balance right. This is a very hard thing to achieve but important to bear in mind.  If your wife is exhausted, it’s nice to offer to mind the baby all through the night but don’t make a habit of it. Equally don’t expect your wife to do all the night shifts.  Neither of you are going to get all the rest you want, but it’s important that you both have enough rest to function in your roles. 

8. Share the good news. It’s very enjoyable to share the good news with friends – and make sure you do.  Firstly, it’s a valuable release for you, and secondly your friends will want to know!  Do try and take it slow with the baby cards, announcement emails etc – break it up over several days if you have to, rather than having a whole day of addressing envelopes and leaving your wife holding the baby!

9. Focus on your partner. It’s very easy in the first few weeks to become obsessively caught up in the new arrival in the house, new babies are fascinating.  But your wife is already 100% focussed on your new baby. Play the most important role you can and look out for your partner – take care of her and ensure she gets as much rest, healthy eating and support as she needs.  It’s also important you watch out for signs of postpartum depression (PPD) also known as postnatal depression, which can become very serious.  There is a good blog article from one husband’s perspective here.

10. Take lots of photos. Take as much video and photos as you have time for.  Within a few months your baby boy or girl will look completely different in size and appearance and you will love looking back on these photos.  The first few weeks are very special, but with all that new learning, health visitor visits and sleepless nights it will pass in a blur – so preserve those memories for later with plenty of pictures, and even movie clips if you have a video camera.

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Cruising for a Bruising?

by Graham on December 7, 2009

My daughter has progressed from crawling to the next sta ge of the learning process – cruising.  It has me terrified!

Cruising is when a baby is able to walk while holding cruising-8onto something such as a chair or table.  It’s quite a precarious process.

We’ve also got her cruising along with a trolley now, which she pushes and walks with.  At first it was a bit like a runaway train, with the trolley leading her down the hall (lethal on our laminate flooring) but now it’s a more controlled affair with her pushing when she wants to go – though remaining on a straight line is still a problem.

This new found mobility has brought out my fears as a parent. As she tentatively clings on to a shelf or unsteady chair, all I can imagine is her falling badly and the dash to A&E.  Then I get more despondent realising that over the next ten years, odds are the hospital trip is inevitable.

I was never a fan of hospitals and emergencies myself as a kid – but of course this time I will be the one in charge and taking care of my daughter.   Will just have to embrace it as a fact of life and part of my daughter growing up that she will tumble and fall, like I did myself, at some point.

[tags]baby,dad,parenting[/tags]

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When Baby Can Climb the Stairs

by Graham on December 5, 2009

My daughter mastered climbing the stairs a few months back, but to be honest it wasn’t a major worry, as she seemed to only want to attempt it if Mum or Dad was right behind her – reassuring.

Safe in the stairgateknowledge that she wasn’t going to go it alone, we’ve held off on the stairgates, considering them an unnecessary and ugly intrusion into our 2-bed duplex apartment.

That was then, and this is now.  Today I blinked and my daughter was off on all fours like a rocket down the hallway and went straight for the stairs.  She was on step three before I had reached her – terrifying!

Now we can’t take her eyes off her, and we’ll probably have to bit the bullet and get stair gates.

Like all sudden baby needs that pop up with a sense of urgency, I’ll most likely head straight to Amazon to find something suitable.  I like the Baby Dan range because I am using their Baby Den and found the quality good, but not familiar with the baby gates range.

No doubt I’ll be an expert by the end of the week – and if you have any personal experience in this area please post your tips in the comments section!

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Amanda Knox Verdict: The Anguish of a Parent

by Graham on December 5, 2009

American student Amanda Knox was found guilty yesterday, along with her boyfriend, of the murder of British student Meredith Kirchner.

There are a million news sites covering this story, but it was the interview I stumbled across on the BBC News website with Knox’s father that caught my attention.

What came across from the interview was the absolute anguish any parent in this situation would go through. Mr. Knox started by saying how you let your daughter abroad for a summer, with all the worries of a parent, but thinking in your mind is the worst that could happen is they get sick. What transpired here was clearly a lot worse than the greatest fears of most parents.

This case has one main victim, of course, Meredith Kirchner, but there are a lot of other people who are suffering too. Though in different ways, the Knox and Kercher parents will suffer pain and sorrow for the rest of their lives as a result of the events in Perugia.

In essence, this is the agony and the ecstasy of parenthood – it a constant dilemma of risk versus return. You’ve got to let your children the freedom they need to engage with the world for themselves, and the risk is they will get hurt or fall along the way. The return is they will learn from their hurts and grow stronger from them – this is what allows them to develop as people.

In the case of the Knoxs and the Kirchners, this clearly went horribly wrong, but as parents we have no choice but to read of these horrible events and despite this carry on encouraging our own children to engage with the world – give them the support and guidance they need (when they let us) – and hope that everything turns out for the best.

As I worry about letting my young daughter out of the kitchen and let her roam free on all fours crawling down the hallway, my worries about her safety are put into perspective – but I am also conscious of the need every day to let her go a little further – this is her engagement with the world, not mine.

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sshh In the run up my daughter’s birth, and for several months after her arrival, my wife and I spent a lot of money on things we thought were essential for a new baby arriving into the house.  As it turned out, a lot of them weren’t essential, and some were a downright waste of money.

Here are some of the more useful products that I would recommend as essential for any nursery.

1. Baby monitors

This device slips under the baby’s mattress and monitors for movement.  If your baby does not move (breath) for ten seconds it will alert you.

Though it will not prevent cot death occurring, they are great for the piece of mind that your child is there and is okay.  Please ensure you follow installation instructions carefully to ensure your device works properly.

Two types are available: the wired type, like BabySense (which we bought and still use) which monitors movements and sounds an alarm when required.  The downside of this product is there is no remote monitor, so you will need to ensure you are within hearing range of the device wherever you are in the house.

The second is the digital wireless type, like AngelCare, which offers monitoring and baby listening within one convenient handheld wireless device, rather like a walkie-talkie in appearance.  Some of the AngelCare models also monitor the temperature of the nursery.   Downside is this uses DECT technology, which may or may not be an issue for you (see further reading below).

2. AirWrap

When our daughter was very small she used to rock her head from side to side in her sleep.  This caused problems with sleep as she liked to sleep right up against the side of her cot, and when we moved her from crib to cot she would continually bump her head and wake herself.

Research into cot bumpers, those large cushions for cots, has produced neutral results.  If you visit a childrens’ store the staff usually will not recommend cot bumpers to you (nor will they advise you against them).

Airwrap is the solution we found (at about 3am one night frantically searching the web).  The product comprises a thin layer of breathable material that allows baby to breathe through it but also cushions their head against the cot bars.

It worked very well for us, though we only really needed it for a few months.  Airwrap is manufactured by a company in Australia.  Please check their website for your nearest retailer.

3. Baby Sshh

We had this product recommended by friends for getting a very small baby to stop crying.  Nothing was working with our daughter, but this toy seemed to have an almost hypnotic effect on her.  It’s reportedly been designed by an acoustic laboratory in Japan and it certainly seemed to work for us.

Definitely worth a try just to break the crying cycle in the first few months if it gets uncontrollable, downside (for us at least) is as soon as the musical cycle ended, our daughter would usually start crying again.  However, it’s good to stop them crying and give you a chance to sooth them with a quick follow up like rocking or singing.

4. Bassinette Travel Cot

Two reasons we loved our travel cot with bassinette.

Firstly, you need a travel cot.  Despite the name, they are not light and portable, but if you are travelling somewhere by car to visit someone they are fantastic – quick to set up and easy to dismantle and pack away.  Just not that light to carry on board an aircraft.

The bassinette is an attachment which allows you to place tiny babies at a height above the cot.  This is the second reason we loved our bassinette.  The benefits were it preserved our backs when picking up/putting down our daughter almost continually.

In addition to this our daughter didn’t take to her cot until much later – but loved the bassinette travel cot.  I think it was because the travel cot tends to rock a little when babies move around, giving them a natural motion to help them sleep.  If I had known this in advance I would have never gone to the expense of a full sized cot!

5. Herbal/Homeopathic Teething Remedies

There are several types of teething remedies available, most of which are excellent at soothing baby’s teething symptoms – gum pain, upset tummy, general unrest.  We started using Teetha which is basically camomile.   Boots also have a remedy called Ashton and Parson’s Infant Teething Powders, which we found worked when our daughter seemed to have outgrown the effects of Teetha.

One sachet about half an hour before bedtime always seemed to help settle baby when she was teething (and still does).

If your lucky enough to know someone who practices homeopathy, I would recommend speaking to them and learning about the variety of natural remedies available for babies.

Further Reading

DECT Baby monitors – are they safe? It is hard to find balanced research on DECT, but here is one article to get you started.

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Baby Not Sleeping? Survival Tips for Dads

by Graham on November 24, 2009

My daughter is 11 months old next week and has yet to sleep a full night.

When you meet people and tell them you have a baby, “are they sleeping through yet” always seems to be in the first few questions they ask, usually after “is it a boy or a girl”. When I tell people that she still wakes several times a night at 10 months, you can just feel the judgment happening.

  • “Have you tried sleep training”
  • “Don’t you let her cry it out?”
  • “Is you wife breast feeding or bottle feeding”
  • “Does she sleep too much in the day”
  • “Is she getting enough calories in her daytime meals?”

The impact on our lives has of having a baby has, of course, been huge. But having almost a full year where a good night’s sleep at home is a non-event is very disruptive.

Somehow I managed a job move mid-way during this year, and took on a greater level of responsibility at work. But very often the daily grind and ever increasing list of to-do’s can seem much more stressful when you haven’t had a restful night. The only full nights of sleep I have had this year have been during the total of two weeks I have spent on business trips.

My wife is very good at offering me the chance to sleep in the spare room when I need to, but in a two bed apartment it is hard to get away from the crying. (Contrary to the popular myth spread by the ante-natal classes, not all dads sleep through baby’s crying).

As for my wife well, she simply has not had a full night’s sleep, or more than a very occasional 4 or 5 hour stretch this year. Period. When will there be light at the end of the tunnel?

We’ve had partial successes along the way, in particular using the techniques described in The Baby Whisperer when our daughter was about three months old. It’s a much nicer approach than some of the more militant techniques out there. The main technique centres around “pat-shush” where you pick up the very young baby until they stop crying and put them back in the cot. You repeat this until the fall asleep. It does work – though our first attempt I counted doing this 330 times!

We’ll definitely use some of the techniques we learned for our next baby. The problem is our daughter outgrew the techniques that worked 6 months ago and moved into a new phase of development (this seems to happen every 4 to 6 weeks in the first year. Add to that the fact that she is so much heavier now – pat/shush would be unworkable!

Last night we did seem to have a breakthrough of some sorts. I insisted my wife didn’t feed her immediately before sleep. Instead she was fed, I bathed her and read her the usual bedtime story and put her in the cot after a few minutes of rocking. She roared and cried and I went back in and picked her up after five minutes until she calmed. Put her back in and she cried again but after three minutes more she was asleep!

Will let you know if this works again tonight. Couple of things I can definitely share from the last ten months of experience:

1. Dads will usually be willing to push further past the comfort zone on crying it out/leaving baby to settle themselves than Mum. The key to maintaining a good relationship is understand this is the case and try to meet a compromise

2. In general babies seem to sleep for a longer stretch when they get themselves to sleep, so any “prop” – breast, rocking, singing, holding – might yield immediate results but will not teach them how to get to sleep

3. Babies never sleep through the night – don’t lose hope however, this is merely the same for all humans – babies, children and adults. The key is that as adults we wake up and get ourselves back to sleep – and in the long term that is what you are aiming to do with baby

4. All babies are different – people forget this point as they give advice on how easy it was to sleep train their own child. Babies, like adults, are completely unique and you will need to be flexible with your baby and very very patient

Should you need to read something more to feel a bit better about your own circumstances with baby and sleeping, spare a thought for the parents of Britain’s youngest insomniac.

If you have some experiences you want to share please use the comments box to do so.

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It’s only been about two weeks since we discovered In the Night Garden, but having introduced it to my daughter, I’m now as engrossed in it as she is.

I’ve got it bad.  Today I had to get to a toy store to buy some presents and had the theme tune for In the Night Garden running around my head.  On arrival in the store the tune finally disappeared, replaced by a continual recital of the verbal shopping list my wife had given me, doomed to be partially forgotten. Minutes later I could hear the tune in the air again – was I going mad? Then I looked over to see another parent, sitting at a toy piano with his daughter, playing the theme tune on the keyboard.  There is no escape!

In the Night Garden is a TV show made by Ragdoll productions and shown on the BBC channel CBeebies in the UK.  The show centres around the main character “Igglepiggle”, which is the imaginary character of a child that falls asleep and travels to the night garden.  There he meets a variety of characters, including Tombliboos, Upsy Daisy, the Pontipines and my personal favourite, Makka Pakka.

It’s not unlike the Tellytubbies, but with a slightly more sophisticated script. 

Our daughter has taken well to the programme and if we need to get  something done in the kitchen it will keep her engrossed for the full half an hour.  The amazing thing is it has me equally engrossed too.  We vowed before she was born to not allow her to watch TV until she was three or four – then tiredness, needing to get housework done and the practicalities of life set in.

I’m not usually into watching children’s programmes – why am I so taken with In the Night Garden? A couple of year back, I bought a meditiation CD for falling asleep.  The meditation/hypnosis script centred around rowing to a private wooded island called the “sanctuary”.  There you relaxed in the calm familiar surroundings before finally leaving the island and succumbing to sleep.  I’m amazed by the similarity between this and In the Night Garden, and it’s very likely that this is why I am so enthralled by this children’s programme.

I’m not the only one – In the Night Garden is a hugely successful show.  Makka Pakka even has his own Facebook page – with over 3500 fans as I write this.

My sister rang today to check what programme we mentioned my daughter was watching – and I excitedly confirmed – she was in the toy store looking for Christmas presents.  Looking in the shops today I found a huge range of In the Night Garden dvds, toys and interactive games.  My daughter will probably get quite a few of them for Christmas – especially if I have anything to do with it.

In the immortal words of Makka Pakka: Makka Pakka akka wakka mikka makka moo / Makka Pakka appa yappa ikka akka oo / Hum dum agga pang ing ang oo / Makka Pakka appa yappa mikka makka moo!

 

Further Reading

In the Night Garden - official website of the TV show

In the Night Garden - dvd of the programme from Amazon.co.uk

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Baby Feeding: How to Wean your Baby

by Graham on November 20, 2009

There are a huge amount of resources available on baby weaning.  Here are some ideas from personal experience on how to wean baby.

My wife and I explored the two main methods of baby weaning:

Baby Led Weaning – this is where you introduce baby to finger foods from the very start of the baby weaning phase (usually about six months), and skip pureed food altogether.

  • Pros: you can save a lot of money on baby weaning food equipment – think of all those blenders and bowls etc.
  • Cons: it’s a little daunting, and baby may choke and splutter a bit more often than you would be comfortable with!

Traditional approach – this is the more conventional approach of preparing pureed foods for your baby.  This is the approach we took and thus far – at almost 11 months old – our daughter has really taken to her pureed food and weaning has been a great success.  We’ve used Annabel Karmel’s book for all our recipes, and most have proven a great success.

  • Pros: conventional and proven weaning method
  • Cons: lots of food prep, cost of equipment, baby doesn’t eat same as you

Advice if you are buying ready-made baby weaning foods:

  1. Many pre-packaged meals have a significant salt content.  There are very strict limits on salt intake for babies.  Always follow the advice of your national food safety authority on salt intake.
  2. ‘Natural’ ready meals often have very high fruit sugars.  One “broccoli and potato” meal we tried was 40% apple puree – hence very high sugar content.

What is baby-led weaning: article from BabyCentre website

[tags]baby,weaning,baby led weaning[/tags]

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The World’s Favourite Baby Names Revealed

by Graham on November 16, 2009

This is a list of the top baby names in the U.S. and UK as survey by the U.S. Social Security Administration and UK National Statistics office.

This is a list of the most popular boys and girls baby names for 2008.


Choosing baby boy names or baby girl names can be a difficult exercise – sometimes the baby name you think is a unique baby name, a special baby name or a truly different baby name turns out to be a very popular baby name in the league tables!

[tags]baby names,names,boy names, girl names[/tags]

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Top Gear Season 14, Episode 1 Aired Today

by Graham on November 15, 2009

I have to mention that the latest season of Top Gear – Season 14, Episode 1 to be precise – aired tonight on BBC 2.

Top Gear must be the greatest car and motoring programme on the planet. I love tuning in and watching the antics of the by now world famous Top Gear Team – Richard Hammond, James May and who’s the other Top Gear presenter?  Oh yes, Jeremy Clarkson.  They even review the odd car every now and again, which is good of them.

One small problem as a New Dad – busy getting my daughter ready for sleep-time meant I missed the first episode of the new Top Gear series!  Will either have to start taping them or buy it on DVD – having a little one and being on their schedule suddenly means missing a lot of your favourite shows – but it is worth it I guess (nevertheless I’ll be setting the personal video recorder for Season 14 Epsiode 2).

[tags]top gear,season 14,episode 1[/tags]

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Being Dad (DVD): Gift Idea For Dads To Be

by Graham on November 15, 2009

I received an email recently from the co-author of  a DVD called Being Dad.

Having seen some footage of the DVD, I can imagine this would be a perfect birthday gift idea or present idea for Dads to be who don’t have the time, inclination or willingness to pick up a book and find out what the months ahead will mean for them while their partner is pregnant….and the arrival of a new baby.

It brings me back to when my wife was first pregnant when she would constantly ask me when I was going to catch up with her manic amount of reading of pregnancy books – it seemed to become a more difficult task with every passing day.

Anyway, if you are stuck for a birthday gift for a Dad-to-be or gift for an expectant father, or you know someone who is about to become a Dad, this might be the answer.

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Top Five Reasons to Have a Baby Naming Ceremony

by Graham on November 15, 2009

It’s important for baby and even more so for parents, to have a baby naming ceremony

I’ve just returned from a baby naming ceremony.  It was an Evangelical Christian ceremony, which isn’t my cup of tea, but nevertheless I really enjoyed it and was honoured to be there.  We had a Catholic christening for my daughter when she was about six months old, and I’m so glad we did.

Whatever your denomination, Christian (Catholic, Protestant etc), Jewish, Hindu or Muslim or even if you are not religious, baby naming ceremonies are important.  Here are some great reasons for Mums and Dads to have a baby naming day:

It’s an excuse for a party – let’s face it, we all love to get together with family and friends, and this is a great excuse to do so

Your child gets introduced to your world – baby naming ceremonies are a good way to formally introduce your child to your circle of friends, relatives, community etc.   If you want your friends and family in their lives they need to “accept” your child in their minds as well, and see you as a family

Friends and family see you are “back” – though you no doubt had countless gifts and lots of support from family and friends, there are probably some friends who left you well alone, giving you space and waiting for things to get “back to normal” for you.  What better way to let them know that you are back than by asking them to the baby naming ceremony

It’s a chance for you to “bookmark” – equally, having a baby naming ceremony/party is a way for you to say the first few months of chaos is over and your life is starting up again.  A chance to take stock, look back and say “phew, that was intense!”

Photo opportunity – you can’t get enough photo opportunities when a new baby arrives.  Everyone loves getting photos of new babies – especially their parents and grandparents

In terms of what kind of day you want to have there are countless options, religious ceremony, brunch, picnic – what you do is up to you!

[tags]baby,naming day,naming ceremony,christening[/tags]

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Google infertility and “advice for women”you will get a huge number of results – 1,340,000 when I tried it today.  A similar search on advice for men yielded only 6,040 results.  Here is what men need to know about conceiving.babymanual

Infertility is an increasingly common issue, gaining increased coverage in the media and occurring with greater frequency in developed countries as we try for children at an increasingly older age.

There is a second side effect to all this coverage and focus on infertility – it is in our minds before even start to try to conceive a baby, and this in itself can be harmful.

If you and your partner are about to try for a baby, it’s very possible that this time will bring some deep emotions up in one of you.  Perhaps your wife has friends who have gone through the trauma of failed fertility treatment, or are currently undergoing IVF.  IVF treatment and fertility issues can be very emotional and upsetting, and this may have effected your partner before you have even started to try.

So here are some pieces of advice as you embark on your “trying time” to make sure it isn’t a trying time.  Here is what men need to know about conceiving.

  • Be calm – there is no doubt that there is a inverse correlation between successful conception and stress.   Being relaxed and calm is the best ingredient to successful conception
  • Eat well – all the old wisdom applies here – plenty of greens, bright fruit and vegetables
  • Don’t drink too well – drink plenty of water and cut right back on the alcohol.  Think of all that swimming sperm!
  • Consider vitamin supplements – when my wife and I were trying we took some supplements specifically designed for men and women.  There are many options – Wellman/Wellwoman which are readily available from chemists, or we used VitaMen and Vitafem.
  • Take a break – if you are trying for a few months make sure it doesn’t take over your life 24×7.  If it’s getting stressful try and take a break from trying (and from each other for an evening if it’s too much to be around each other without talking about it)
  • Phone a friend – clearly trying is a deeply personal experience, but it’s as important for men as well as women to have someone they can confide in during this time
  • Don’t sweat technical issues – face it, having sex on a daily (or more) basis, you are increasing the odds of having some technical issues.  Don’t read into it or get upset over it – just try again next time.  It’s probably good to discuss the possibility with your partner beforehand so that you both don’t dwell on things when it comes up….or rather doesn’t

If you take nothing else from this post, remember to be calm and relax – it will happen when you least expect!  My wife and I believe we conceived successfully the night we came back from a Bjork concert, after a huge row and we thought it was too late to try as we both had work the next day…but we did anyway, and what do you know….it worked.

Resources

Zita West Guide to Getting Pregnant – we found this book to be very good, and like Zita’s advice and relaxed approach

Taking Charge of Your Fertility – many women like to buy this book and read it before trying.  If you can at all avoid this book coming into your house.   For us it made things stressful before they even started, because you get to read about every infertility issue possible and plant them in your mind. If your partner does appear with it some evening, try to read ahead of him/her – so you can allay their concerns with your knowledge of the topic!

[tags]fertility,infertility,men,trying,conceiving,baby[/tags]

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Dads Want a Work-Life Balance Too

by Graham on November 8, 2009

Today’s UK Observer newspaper had an article about work-life balance for Dad’s.

According to the article by Richard Reeves, requests for flexible working are more likely to be turned down when they come from men. 

This certainly doesn’t surprise me.  Only yesterday I wrote on my other blog that I was having trouble with one-off requests to work from home – I don’t imagine a formal request to do this on a weekly basis will be any easier.

There is a fondness in the media (Richard’s article excepted) to focus on Dad’s wanting longer paternity leave.  To me that misses the point.   It’s how to make things work when the breadwinner (Dad or Mum) get back to work – flexible hours, working from home, compressed working weeks – these are the things that make a work-life balance achievable. 

If that balance is achieved, employees are more likely to stay with their employer or business – this is the point most companies still don’t get.

[tags]dads,work,balance,observer,article,flexible working[/tags]

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Why restaurants are not baby friendly

by Graham on November 7, 2009

Since we bought ourselves a decent lightweight buggy last month we’ve been eating out and drinking coffee in cafés a lot more often.

However, this increased experience of bringing our ten month old daughter to restaurants has brought some interesting failings to light when restaurants try, or don’t try, to cater to customers with babies.

Here are some highlights from the last few weeks alone:

Chapters Restaurant, Blackheath, London: this restaurant was very welcoming to us with our baby and buggy (unsurprising when you see how many buggies are being pushed around the ‘Heath every weekend).  There was a high chair produced without any fuss within a few seconds of our arrival.  In addition to that the waitress brought us a kids menu!  I was tempted to pass it back to her and explain my baby would be eating from the full menu.

Jamie’s Italian, Canary Wharfnewly opened in Canary Wharf, friendly welcoming staff and again a high chair provided with no fuss whatsoever.  Not only that, they brought our baby pictures to colour in, a glass with crayons in it!

Strada, More London, nr London Bridgewhile the previous two were funny, this was more frustrating.  We were given a highchair with a broken strap (though to be fair this was replaced as soon as we asked).  We had a frozen dinner for our baby so we asked for it to be zapped in the microwave, and were told that it couldn’t be done for health and safety reasons!  Instead they offered us some boiling water – after about three bowls of water my daughter was given a very cold meal, but thankfully she ate it.

We’ve had plenty of positive experiences of course – Wahaca in Covent Garden is very welcoming to babies, and has those wonderful trendy and expensive high chairs.  It’s always great to find baby friendly restaurants in Covent Garden – and this restaurant is one of our favourite eateries.

Restaurants are clearly very aware of buggies and babies, and very good at providing high chairs.  It’s a good start.  What’s needed next is some sensitivity to parents’ other needs – if mother is breastfeeding don’t put us by the door on a cold October night, let us heat up food (promise we won’t scald our own child) and please don’t give a small baby crayons!

[tags]restaurants,baby,friendly[/tags]

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How to Choose Baby Names

by Graham on November 6, 2009

Choosing a boy or girl’s baby name is a bit of a fine art – but the actual process of choosing a baby name is not something easily taught.  Individual taste, impact of the surname when said with the baby name, current trends, names already used by friends/family and geographical location – all of these factors (and more) play a part in the choice.  But we all want to choose the best baby name for our child – how to get it right?

Here are some tips on making the process a little easier – as for the final decision, well that is down to you.

Have a plentiful supply – buy yourself some good baby name books.  You can use them in the future or even give to friends – they won’t go to waste. There are plenty of good titles out there.  Here are a few to get you started: The Penguin Book of Baby Names, The Name Book (10,000 names!), A Dictionary of Baby Names (Oxford Paperback Reference)

Beware of fads – there are lots of books out there on ‘cool’ boy baby names, or books on ‘hot’ or ‘not’ girls names.  But think how these names will sound in ten years time!

Do the professor test – this is my wife’s favourite. She likes to sound a baby name with the title of ‘Professor’ and our family name.  Suddenly options such as Professor Tinkerbell Galvin for a baby girl’s name sound very wrong.

Don’t try to be too original – sometime there is wisdom in crowds.  Take a look at baby name charts to see how popular your outline choices are (see below for links).  SiteYou’ll often be surprised how high up the chart your ‘inspired’ choice will be – but don’t be put off.  Equally, if a name is not in the top 100 there’s probably a good reason.

Think regional – if you have strong cultural roots, take a look at names from your area.  Irish baby names, Welsh baby names, Scottish baby names, French baby names…..something enduring with a special connection to you and your ancestry can work very well.

School yard rules – don’t go crazy with the name – imagine your young child going to school and getting called names – don’t burden them with something that will get them in trouble in the school yard!

She who must be obeyed…will be! – if you are like me and are a Dad trying to choose a baby name and you feel strongly about name choice – remember that your wife will have strong feelings on the decision too.  Try not to get too attached to special names because inevitably you won’t agree on all names, and you may experience what happened with our first born where our good friends announced their child’s name a few months before ours arrived and we learned they had also come across the unique and ‘rare’ name that we had secretly chosen! So the final piece of advice must be:

Always have a back up.

Happy Naming!
Graham

Free Resources:

National Statistics Baby Names (UK Site)

Popular Baby Names – Social Security Administration (US)

BabyNames.com

Babynames.co.uk – random baby name chooser (in case you are really stuck!)

Books:

The Penguin Book of Baby Names
The Name Book (10,000 names!)
A Dictionary of Baby Names (Oxford Paperback Reference)
The Celtic Baby Names Book

GetBlogs Blog Directory
Parenting Blogs

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Birth partner tips for Dads!

D-day, the day of delivery, labour day.  Call it what you like, the day of baby’s arrival in the world can be a daunting prospect for the first time dad, not to mention the first time mother!  Whereas your dad may have spent the duration of your delivery in the pub, it’s quite likely your wife or partner is expecting you by her side for the before, during and after of the labour.

Someone recently suggested I write a post on "labour tips for clueless dads". I like to think this more in terms of a "primer for Dads as birthing partners".   Clueless sounds like a bit of a put down – but let’s be honest, everyone is clueless until that little baby arrives as to what exactly is going to happen during the labour, doctors included!

During pregnancy, you’ve been there for your wife to talk things through, listen, provide advice if required.  Being the birth partner for your wife when she’s giving birth for the first time, however, is a whole different prospect.

Having said that, being a support during pregnancy is a good preparation for labour.  Your probably keen to move on to the next stage, and dying meet this little person who has caused your wife all that morning sickness and discomfort these past few months!

Being there for the birth of your child is a rewarding and incredible experience, and with these labor and delivery survival tips it should make it all the better for both of you.  While this guide for fathers is not an exhaustive list of what to bring when wife is in labor (as everyone will have different requirements) it should get you thinking in the right direction to compile your own list of needs.

Mums are not the only ones impacted by a pregnancy…

1. Take a class together – whether you go for your hospital-provided ante-natal class, take a private class or attend some form of hypnosis-led birthing class doesn’t matter. By taking a class together you will learn more about the labour process, which will put you at ease, and it’s also a great way to tune into how your partner is feeling about labour and what her concerns are.

2. Read a book or two – it helps to be in the know on all the stages of labour.  Your wife might delight in being an expert on every stage right now, but on the day she will be busy focussing on things such as contractions and too distracted to remember everything.  Not that you need to know every detail either, but believe me a little knowledge is a powerful thing during the labour process.  I was amazed how much I knew by the day in question and was even pointing things out to the various medical staff we had to deal with on the day.  See my other post on recommended books.

3. Be involved in the bag pack – make sure you know what your wife is packing for the hospital – you’ll be responsible for this bag and getting your wife what she needs.  Bring more food and liquid than you expect you’ll need – in case it is a long labour – and don’t forget to pack some liquids and small high energy snacks for you too.  If it is a long spell in the hospital you won’t want to be running off looking for a vending machine and risk missing the birth of your child!

4. Review the birth plan together – have a single page document describing how you both want the experience to be.  Does your wife want to say no up front to all anaesthesia or she wants everything they have got on prescription?  It’s important you are aware of these things because chances are it’s you the hospital staff (or the midwife in a homebirth) will be speaking to to confirm during the labour.

DISCOVER THE ONE BOOK ON BIRTH PARTNERING YOU’LL WANT TO READ – 5 STAR RATED ON AMAZON

On the day itself:

5. Remain calm – whatever happens during the labour, whatever your wife says to you, however the traffic on the route to the hospital is – remain calm. Remember that the labour is not about you.   Your role as birth partner is to protect your wife and child during this, let’s face it, life endangering process.  It’s a proven fact that labour can be a lot less painful when the mother is calm and relaxed – and as birthing partner you can help achieve that, deal with any distractions or upsets and remaining calm yourself throughout.

6. Decide when you’re going to ring the family – this might sound strange but it’s something my wife and I did not discuss explicitly.  After 20 hours of labour my wife was wheeled off to the operating room and I was clueless as to whether to ring the family then or not worry them unduly and wait until it was all over.  We hadn’t contacted them when we went in to labour as my wife didn’t want them waiting around the hospital – but after 20 hours what to do isn’t as obvious!

7. Bring a camera – you must have a camera – memory card loaded and battery charged in the hospital bag.  The second piece of advice relating to cameras, especially digital, is take more pictures than you feel like taking once baby has arrived.  If your wife is worried about how she looks having just given birth or doesn’t like the decor in the room she can always delete them later, but at least by taking lots of pictures you will never say “I wishing we had taken more pictures when our baby was just born”.

DISCOVER THE ONE BOOK ON BIRTH PARTNERING YOU’LL WANT TO READ – 5 STAR RATED ON AMAZON

Useful Links

Websites

Hypnobirthing – find classes and learn more.  Very enjoyable classes for mums and dads to attend together.

Blogs/Articles

The New Dad Guide has a very useful series of articles on labour – covering things such as birth plans, contractions and even dad’s hospital bag.

Be the Best Birth Partner You Can – short but useful article

Men: a partner’s guide to assisting during labour – article from Thinkbaby.co.uk

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It’s a steep learning curve becoming a Dad for the first time.  Every new Dad could do with some helpful books on all things fatherhood, even Snoop Doggy Dogg!  Though this article is aimed at dads, these books would make great gifts for mums too.

Here are some of the books I have found very useful in the build up to becoming a dad, and my first year of parenthood.  They are also great ideas as Christmas gifts for fathers.  Hopefully you will find these suggestions helpful – amongst these you may find the best book on becoming a father.

The Blokes Guide to Pregnancythough this book is a little, well, blokey – personally I’m not even a fan of football, it’s still a fun read. The author swings between serious and irreverent quite seamlessly (you can imagine his wife peering over his shoulder as he writes from time to time) but overall it’s a light-hearted read and a gentle introduction to what should be the beginning of the most exciting time of your life.  Ideal gift for fathers to be who are still getting use to the idea of becoming Dad!

Your Pregnancy Week by Week – though this book is clearly not aimed specifically at Dads, I found this a great read during the nine months leading up to the arrival of my daughter.  What is really great is that is tells you how your baby is growing and developing, what size they are, as well as explaining what is going on during the pregnancy in detail as it comes up – great for understanding your wife, her needs, and not forgetting those mood swings of course!

The New Father: A Dad’s Guide to the First Yearthis book is great because it is organised into chapters for each month of the first year.  Other books try to do this but tend to cram random topics into each chapter to pad it out.  Each chapter is a list of development stages your child may have reached (which my wife also enjoyed reading) and topics on various things that might be going on with baby, mother and father.  One good example is a section about when Dad’s tend to re-assess their career – which was uncanny in the way it popped up just as it was going through my own career review!

Any large, epic novel – because let’s face it, once the little one arrives you will not be sitting down to read for hours at a stretch!  Not to mention the end of those holidays with nothing to do but sit in that sun lounger to read all morning – it’s off to the kids club for you!

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Best Playpen or Baby Den

by Graham on October 30, 2009

We’ve got the Babyden Playpen for my daughter.  It’s taken pride of place in the centre of our kitchen/living area and works a treat for being able to leave our daughter play in a safe environment while we do things like put the dinner on.

Reasons I think this product works well:

  • Flexible configuration: it can be configured as a standalone pen or can be secured against a wall
  • Solid construction: the build is of a very high quality, and you can tell the product is going to last
  • Easy to assemble/disassemble: in theory you could disassemble and take this away for the weekend to say, the grandparents’ house
  • Looks good: once you get over the similarity to a prison cell, it does look quite good in a living room, especially with the floor mat that’s included
  • Order! okay so I am sure your baby has more toys that you can pack in here, but at least you can put some order into the living room floor again and not have to sit on a plastic toy when you want to watch the news
  • Security: if you do need to put baby down for a few minutes, e.g. to answer the door, this is the safest way to do so and ensure that they won’t crawl off

The downside is this product is not cheap, but then what baby product is these days?

Babydens are something worth looking at once your baby is at 6 or 7 months.  When they start to crawl, even a short distance, it’s definitely time to get one of these in place.

[tags] baby, playpen,den,best,review [/tags]

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Desperately seeking a Dads’ group

by Graham on October 29, 2009

I‘m looking for a Dads’ group on the weekends to take my baby girl to.  It ticks so many boxes – my wife gets a break from both of us, I get to do something with my daughter, my daughter gets to meet other babies and interact.

The only problem is there are so few of them out there!

Most of the Dad’s groups I’ve found seem to be centred around the stay at home Dad, and hence centre around weekday morning or afternoon activities.  What I’m looking for is somesort of drop-in activity at weekends, morning or afternoons.  Nothing fancy required, perhaps a Dad and babies swim, coffee and play morning, or something like that.

If you are looking for something in your own area, I suggest you try Google and keywords such as NCT, Dad and your area name.

Any other ideas, please do share!

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Tips for Successful Baby Weaning

by Graham on January 3, 2009

We’re almost six month into weaning our daughter on to real foods.  For the first six months, we’ve been using the book of books on baby weaning, Annabel Karmel’s Complete Baby and Toddler Meal PlannerbookWhat modern home doesn’t have a copy? 

If you’re short on recipe ideas for weaning baby, this is the book to have. Without even realising it we’d even gone as far as buying the bowl and spoon from the Annabel Karmel range, we are completely signed up to the book and way of life!

To be fair, it is a great book, and it’s also been hugely educational for me as someone who loves to cook.

I’d never before come across a papaya or a sweet potato in real life before, never mind cook with one of them.  I challenge anyone to make up the chicken one pot and not love taste!

The overriding principle of Annabel Karmel’s weaning programme seems to be ensuring baby gets the best food available, while at the same time giving them a fantastic variety of great tastes, so there is no room for them to become a fussy eater.

Having said that, my daughter did decide around the ten month mark that she didn’t want to eat the puréed foods my wife has been painstakingly putting together for her.  Suddenly the “lovely lentils” aren’t so lovely to my daughter anymore.

But we realised what had happened was a natural progression – we now make the same dishes from Annabel Karmel and just don’t puree them – she wants texture, chunkiness and chewing in her meal.

Looks like this book will hold us in good stead for some time to come.

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